The Book and The Principles
How to Win Friends and Influence People is a powerful book and a powerful statement. This book will help you connect with anyone and find ways to succeed together.
If you are a lifelong student of self-help, personal development, relationship building or want to understand people, then Dale Carnegie’s classic book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, is the book for you.
This 250-page book is filled with ideas that will help you understand people and connect with them on a whole new level.
Here is the problem as I see it. Who has time to sit down to read 250 pages and look for the nuggets this book offers you?
The problem is to many of us are busy doing other things and don’t have time in the evening to read.
I wrote this article to breakdown the book into 30 principles that you can learn and apply easily.
Who was Dale Carnegie?
In 1912, the Dale Carnegie’s course was founded. This course offers people a way to achieve a level of success they cannot achieve on their own.
Dale Carnegie died in 1955 but left us with principles that are still thought today. In fact, all around the world his books can be purchased and studied.
Courses are thought to millions of people who are looking to gain a competitive advantage over their competition.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
This book teaches three core concepts. Being Friendly, Winning People to Your Way of Thinking and How to Be a Leader.
One of the most important things you will learn in life it to smile. What is the first think we do when we meet people? We introduce ourselves by giving our putting out our had, telling them our name and smiling.
Smiling is easy to do and helps bring people together.
When having a conversation with people be interested in the other person.
How do you do that?
Easy, ask open-ended questions and listen to how the other person answers. Not only with their words but with their tone and body language.
Encourage people to talk. When you do this, you make the other person feel important.
When you are listening to the person talk, do not interrupt and do not criticize, condemn or complain.
Be in the moment and be present. Listen and give honest and sincere appreciation to the person you are having a conversation with.
When it is your turn to talk, talk in the terms of the other person. If you are in sales or having a personal conversation, arouse in the person a want or desire.
When you and the other person decide to part ways and the conversation has come to an end, remember to use the person’s name when you say good-bye.
Not only do people love the sound of their own name, most people will be impressed you remembered their name long after the conversation has come to an end.
Winning People to Your Way of Thinking
Anytime you meet people begin the conversation in a friendly tone. Whether you are in sales or looking to influence the other person, get them to say yes with their words, voice tone and body language.
In sales, you may have heard, the person who talks the most is losing influence in the conversation. If you are the sales agent, you need to do the listening and less of the talking. Let the other person talk.
Your goal is to become people smart and ask good questions to the personality that is in front of you.
When the person is answering your questions, or expressing an idea, be sympathetic and empathic to the person’s situation. Try to see things from the other person’s point of view when possible.
If the other person is wrong do not tell them they are wrong. But if you are wrong be the first one to admit it.
The idea is to not to get into a heated argument with the other person. You want to win and influence the other person, so avoid arguments. This advice is the same if you have an angry customer. You need to understand how to handle the situation.
Do you want more sales, friends and people who will believe and trust you?
Then allow people to feel as if the best ideas came from them.
Tell them your idea and appeal to the best in the other person.
If you want the other person to act on the idea, which they believe came from them, challenge them to complete the idea. When you have the opportunity, show them what a completed vision could look like.
How to Be a Leader
The qualities of a great leader go beyond the office. They are a skill that the person lives and breathes. They are the reputation they want others to emulate.
Good leaders and mentors will take others under their council and teach them how to become a great leader.
All great leaders know and understand, if you want your team to perform you must give your honest appreciation. Let your employees know that they are doing a good work.
If you believe your staff has made a mistake or is not performing, a good leader will talk about their own mistakes first and call attention to their mistakes indirectly.
Good leaders are like good sales agents. They ask questions and allow the other person to save face if they have made an error. No one want to be labelled in front of their peers. We all want the opportunity to right our wrongs and save face.
As a leader, your goal is to encourage your staff, show praise when your staff show improvement and make the person happy about doing the things you suggest, they do, to improve and grow in the company.
The 30 highlighted principles are just the tip of the iceberg in this classic book. How to Win Friends and Influence People, should study and reread this book once every six months in my opinion.
If you really want to excel with people, apply the principles that are mentioned in the book and article.
We all want to feel important and want people to tell us when we are doing a great job. We want to feel like we are making a difference and we want to make sure others appreciate us.
Another one of Dale Carnegie’s classics, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, can help you with this.
Which one of the 30 tips will you apply today?
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Don’t just imagine change. What if it was as easy as coming back every 30 days, rereading the article and applying the information. You don’t always have time to read a 250-page book but you can make time to read this article in 10 minutes.