The Art of Dealing With People (Building Relationships)
Building stronger relationships is about understanding people and how to best communicate with them. We all need to be respected, noticed and heard when we speak to others. With so many people, who have different agenda’s, it can sometimes be hard for people to share their views.
I picked up, The Art of Dealing With People, back in 2003. I read it one time and put it on my shelf. Picking up the book for the second time, after 13 years, I noticed how much I have grown as a person.
This book is easy to read and not very long. Les Giblin, author and business leader, shares tips on building relationships by providing tips on how to communicate effectively with husbands, wives, friends, co-workers, sales people, in meeting and with strangers.
With our busy days and with us always on the run we can forgot how important it can be to make others feel good about themselves. We need to master the techniques mentioned in this book. You can become the words in this book and you will find people who will be attracted to you. They will feel that you are truly a great person. Someone they would like to build current and future relationships with.
Chapter 01 – Thinking Creatively About Human Relations
- The one common denominator to all success and happiness is other people.
- Human relations is the science of dealing with people in such a way that our ego and their ego remain intact.
- The reason 90% of people fail in life is a failure to deal successfully with people.
- You must not know what to do, but why you’re doing it.
- The one successful way to get the things you want from life is to acquire skill in dealing with people.
Chapter 02 – Understanding The Human Ego
- The Declaration of Independence is really a declaration of independence for the individual.
- Practice good Human relations if you can remember that every individual is important.
- Four Facts: We are all egotists, We are more interested in ourselves than in anything else, Every person you meet wants to feel important, There is a craving in everyone for the approval of others.
- When self-esteem gets low enough, almost anything can become a threat.
- Help others to like themselves better; satisfy their hunger for self-esteem.
Chapter 03 – Making People Feel Important
- All of us need to feel that we are important. We need to feel that other people recognize and acknowledge our importance.
- No on can maintain their dignity and worth if everyone he/she meets treats him/her as if he/she is worthless.
- Why employees are dissatisfied: Failure to get credit, Failure to correct grievances, No encouragement, They are criticized infant of others, Boss does not ask opinions, Don’t know how they are doing at work and employees favouritism.
- Remember you only see a fraction of what is around you.
- When dealing with a group try to acknowledge everyone in the group.
- Consciously and unconsciously we want to make a good impression.
- We usually try to increase our feeling of importance at the expense of others.
Chapter 04 – Controlling The Actions and Attitudes of Others
- Each of us is constantly influencing and controlling the actions and attitudes of those with whom we come in contact.
- When you find yourself in an explosive situation, that seems likely to get out of hand at any moment, lower the tone of your voice and keep it soft.
- If you believe in yourself and act as if you believe in yourself, others will believe in you.
- The voice is the most highly developed mean of communication.
Chapter 05 – Creating a Good Impression
- If you’re discussing business, start off in a business-like tone.
- People will act out their role in the stage setting that you create.
- The world forms its opinions of us largely from the opinion we have of ourselves.
- Cheerful, optimistic people buy products and ideas. They are more generous, more willing to expand, and to take a chance.
- Calmly assume that others will do what you want.
Chapter 06 – Developing an Attractive Personality
- Everyone wants to be accepted, approved of and appreciated.
- When others get a taste of your approval, they will begin to change their behaviour so that they can gain approval for other things.
- Raise the value of other with your words.
Chapter 07 – Learning to Communicate Effectively
- Many people are unhappy because they are unable to express themselves, and they carry their ideas and emotions bottled up inside.
- Stop trying to be perfect.
- Small talk not only can start a conversation for you, but it can be used to unlimber others.
- Get people talking about themselves.
- The art of being a good conversationalist consists…in opening up others and getting them to talk.
- We like people who agree with us and dislike people who disagree.
Chapter 08 – Listening
- Most of us want others to think that we are clever and intelligent.
- People will tell you what they want if you’ll listen.
- Successful people encourage others to talk and to keep on talking while they keep their mouths shut.
- One of the highest compliments you can pay is to listen to someone.
- Look at people when they talk. Lean towards them. Ask questions.
Chapter 09 – Getting People to Agree
- When someone opposes our idea, we take it as a threat to our ego.
- The only way to win an argument is to get others to change their minds.
- There is only one way to get an idea accepted by the subconscious: BY SUGGESTION.
- If you want your idea heard, learn to listen to their ideas first.
- You have won the argument…or so it seems. But the other person has not accepted your viewpoint and will not act upon your ideas.
Chapter 10 – Give Praise
- Praise gives us new energy and new life.
- People everywhere are hungry for praise and appreciation.
- Look for things for which you can thank people.
- Thank people by name. (Remember people love the sound of their own name)
- Praise people for what they do, rather than who they are.
Chapter 11 – Criticizing Without Offending
- When you say, “I’m telling you thin for your own good.” You are only looking to bolster your own ego.
- Criticism should be done in private.
- Do not make criticism personal.
- Ask for cooperation, don’t demand it.
Any time you communicating with people and are looking to build relationships you have to be able to come form a genuine place. This book is not for people who want to manipulate others. The Art of Dealing With People, is for those people who want to connect to their peer and want to improve their relationships.
People know when you are not being real with them and will not want to be around you if they feel you are looking to harm them or take advantage of them. Watch how you treat people s ego. If you respect it they will respect you but if you go after people ego they will also go after yours.
Now its your turn to make a difference. Share the solution people are looking for on your favourite social media platform. It’s easy to do and a proven fact your inner circle wants to know what you know.
Leave a comment below and tell us what one tip you will implement today to build stronger relationship.
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