Are you aware that all the relationships you have at home, with your family, with your co-workers, employees or management team developed for many different reasons?
Some people, you connect to very easily while others take, some getting used to. Unfortunately, there are people you do not get along with but you still have to work alongside.
Building strong relationships is about understanding people and how to best communicate with them. We all need to be respected, noticed and heard when we speak to others.
Today, everywhere you look from the home to big business, everybody is working their own agenda. Everyone want to get ahead and succeed. The problems is people are willing to step on each other to progress.
There is a way to get what you want and still help others get what they want. It is about building and cultivating relationships. Here is a quick tip on how to win friends and influence people.
The Book – The Art of Dealing with people
I picked up the book, The Art of Dealing with People by Les Giblin, in 2003. I Read it one time and put it back on my shelf. The first time I read the book I was not ready for the lessons in the book.
Again, I pick up the book 13 years later. As I read the book, I noticed how much I have grown and matured as a person. The words in the book were impacting me more than I had expected.
The Art of Dealing with People, is a short book and an easy read. Les Giblin, author and business leader, shares tips on how to build relationships with even the most difficult people.
In the book, you will find tips on how to communicate with your spouse and have a better marriage, grow friendships, work with co-workers and sales departments, how to impact meeting and how to strike up conversations with strangers.
With our busy lives we forgot how important it can be to make others feel good about themselves. This is where being people smart comes in. The more others focused we are verses us focused we are the better results we can get in business.
It is important to master the techniques in this book. You can become the words in this book and you will find people who will be attracted to you.
They will feel that you are truly a great person. Someone they can trust and build relationships in business and maybe even a friendship.
Chapter 01 – Thinking Creatively About Human Relations
- The most basic, common denominator, to all success and happiness is other people.
- Human relations are a simple science. Learn to deal with people in such a way that our ego and their ego remain intact.
- One of the biggest reasons 90% of people fail in life is they never learn how to successfully work with others.
- You cannot only know what to do, but you must know why you’re doing it.
- The one successful way to get everything you want from life, is to acquire the skill of how to work well with other people.
Chapter 02 – Understanding the Human Ego
- In the United States of America, the Declaration of Independence is really a document that declarations the independence of all individuals.
- Learn to practice good human relationships. It is easy to remember if you keep in mind that every individual in the world is just as important as you are.
- Four Facts about Humans: We are all egotistical. Most of the time our nature is to be interested in ourselves than in others. Every person you meet wants you to make them feel important. There is a craving deep in each person asking for the approval of other people.
- When your self-esteem gets low enough, almost anything can become a threat to the Ego.
- To build good relationships we must help others to like themselves better. We need to help satisfy their hunger for a higher self-esteem.
Chapter 03 – Making People Feel Important
- All of us have a desire to feel that we are important. We want to know that other people recognize and acknowledge our importance.
- No one can maintain their dignity and self-worth if everyone he/she meets treats him/her as if he/she is worthless.
- Why employees are dissatisfied: Failure to get credit. Failure to correct grievances against them. No encouragement from management. They are criticized as if they were children. The boss does not ask their opinions. They don’t know how they are doing at work due to lack of feedback. Bosses show employees favoritism.
- Remember even if we have our eyes open and our senses are focused, we only see a fraction of what is around us.
- When dealing with a group of people try to acknowledge everyone in the group. Allow everyone to have a voice.
- Consciously and unconsciously we want to make a good impression on everyone we meet and even on social media.
- Don’t try to increase your feeling of importance at the expense of others. There ego does not know the difference between a joke and reality.
Chapter 04 – Controlling the Actions and Attitudes of Others
- Each one of us is constantly influencing and controlling the actions and attitudes of those with whom we come in contact with. Our attitude towards them can dictate their attitude for the rest of the day.
- When you find yourself in an explosive situation, that seems likely to get out of hand at any moment, remember to lower the tone of your voice and keep it soft.
- If you believe in yourself and act as if you believe in yourself, others will believe in you.
- The voice is the most highly developed mean of communication. Learn how to use your voice and body language.
- You can never sell anything to anyone until you are sold on that product, service or idea, yourself.
Chapter 05 – Creating a Good Impression
- If you’re discussing business, then use a business-like tone when you speak.
- People will play their role, on the stage setting that you create.
- The world forms its opinions of us largely from the opinion we have of ourselves. This means watch what you say about yourself to others.
- Cheerful and optimistic people buy products, services and ideas. They are more generous, more willing to expand, and to take a chance.
- You should always assume that others will do what you want them to do but do not be disappointed if they don’t.
Chapter 06 – Developing an Attractive Personality
- Everyone wants to be accepted, approved of and appreciated for what they know, how they act and what they say.
- Usually when others get a taste of your approval, they will change their current behaviors so they can gain approval for other things in different areas.
- Only you can help raise the value other see in themselves with your positive words.
Chapter 07 – Learning to Communicate Effectively
- Many people are unhappy because they are unable to express themselves, and they carry their ideas and emotions bottled up inside with no way to express what they mean.
- We need to remember to stop trying to be perfect.
- Small talk can start a conversation with anyone. This conversation can lead to great friendships, business partnerships and even future opportunities. All because you introduced yourself.
- If you are not sure what you should talk to people about, get them to talk about themselves.
- The art of being a good conversationalist consists of us asking good open ended questions and getting others to talk. All you need to do is listen while the other person talks.
- It is human nature to like people who agree with us. It is also human nature to dislike people who disagree with us.
- Don’t air your troubles in public. This also goes to the manager who reprimands employees in front of other employees.
Chapter 08 – Listening
- Most of us want others to think that we are clever and intelligent, so we listen but are quick to respond with what we think is an intelligent comment.
- If you are in sales, remember people will tell you pretty much everything they can, if you are willing to listen.
- Successful people understand the importance of encouraging others to talk, while they listen and learn.
- One of the highest compliments you can pay anyone is to listen to them.
- When people are talking with you, look at them as they talk. Lean forward towards them. Ask questions and take a genuine interest in them.
Chapter 09 – Getting People to Agree
- Keep in mind, when someone opposes our ideas, we take it as a threat to our ego. Instead of reacting ask them a question to find out why they think differently than we do.
- We tend to think the only way to win an argument is to get others to change their minds. The truth is sometimes you should walk away from an argument.
- There is a powerful way to have an idea accepted by the subconscious mind. It is by using the power of suggestions.
- If you want others to hear your ideas we should learn to listen to their ideas first.
- If you believe you have won the argument, but the other person has not accepted your viewpoint, then the other person will not act on your ideas or words.
Chapter 10 – Give Praise
- Giving praise to people can give them new energy and new life.
- People all over the world are hungry for praise and appreciation. We all want to know we are doing a good job.
- Every day look for ways you can thank people and praise people for the good job they are doing.
- Whenever possible thank people by using their name. People love the sound of their own name.
- Praise people for what they do, rather than who they are. People are usually making small changes we can’t see.
Chapter 11 – Criticizing Without Offending
- If you catch yourself saying, “I’m telling you this for your own good.” Remember you are saying this because your subconsciously mind is looking to boost your ego.
- If you need criticize anyone, this should be done in private. Praise people in public.
- Do not make your criticism of the situation a personal attack.
- Ask for your team’s cooperation, don’t demand it.
Any time you are dealing with people, communicate with them to build relationships. This must come from a genuine place. This can only be done if you have built the foundation of a successful mindset.
This book, The Art of Dealing with People, is not for those who want to manipulate others. The Art of Dealing with People, is for those who want to connect to their peer, improve personal relationships and communicate effectively.
There are great tips on how to deal with people. Many time we are in relationships with toxic people, unpleasant people, stressed out people, people with different personalities and we must learn how to manage our ego and grow in those relationships. If you can’t grow in those relationships, sometimes you have to remove yourself.
People know when you are not being honest. They will not want to be around you if they feel you are looking to harm or take advantage of them.
It is important to watch how you treat people’s ego. If you respect it they will respect you but if you go after people’s ego, they will go after yours.
What one thing will you take from this article and apply so you can improve relationships with others?
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